How I learned to stop worrying and love London
The American poet Robert Frost said, “Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in.” During my gap year and university, my travels were always punctuated by reluctant return trips to Heathrow under a cloud of necessity. I had to come back. Britain had to have me.
After leaving university at 22, I’d done my best not to return at all, taking extended trips to the U.S., and, when I’d exhausted both money and visas, I booked a ticket to Sydney rather than London. My first stint in Australia lasted two years. When I finally returned home, at 25, I didn’t want to be here, but I’d run out of places to hide.
I wrote about coming home.
OMG News You Guys, News
FAIL: Holographic Michael Jackson at the Billboard Music Awards.
WOW: New York circa 2000, as seen through a Game Boy Camera.
LOL: Babies with eyebrows drawn on.
WTF: Bolivian President signed by local football team.
WIN: Sarah Millican wore that dress again.
OH DEAR: Cyclist celebrates winning a lap early, finishes 56th.
Check out the BuzzFeed UK Tumblr. I’ll be running it. Boom.
"Kim in real life" by Daniel Dalton
We call him Mr. Kim. We added the Mister.
Mr. Kim is Chinese. They don’t have Misters. They say Xiānshēng. I had to Google that. I don’t know how to pronounce it.
Mr. Kim is my cleaner. I don’t like to clean, so I hired Mr. Kim. I hired him because he was cheap.
For $50 he cleans my house. He scrubs down the kitchen, does any dishes I’ve left, mops the floors. He does it with a smile. Mr. Kim is always smiling.
He vacuums the rug and the stray bits of cat litter and cleans my shavings off the back of the sink, where it was too much trouble for me to bother.
He scrubs my toilet bowl. He does it with a smile. Sometimes he sings quietly. I pay him $50.
(First publishing in Cuttings)
A short I wrote last year, made available for all.
I moved back to London.
So my URL is ‘toliveanddieinlondon’ once more. Fun.